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Turning on Our Internal Lights

للمقال باللغة العربية לכתבה בעברית

 What is Self-Awareness?
Imagine being in a dark room. You don't know what's in it. You've never seen it before. You have no idea how you got there or what is surrounding you. Now, imagine that for one minute, the lights turn on. You have the ability now to take in your surroundings, learn where you are, and see what's around you. Even if the lights turn off again, you will never unlearn what you've just seen. This analogy from Co-active coaching describes what gaining "awareness" is like.

Self-awareness occurs when we turn our focus inward and see ourselves objectively with clarity. It is the ability to notice our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors and recognize whether or not they are aligned with our values and who we are.

Through my training and work in coaching, I got to see first-hand the value of developing high self-awareness. For us to evolve, create real change, and improve ourselves, we need to become self-aware. We need to connect with our values, recognize our strengths and struggles, notice our triggers, patterns of behaviors, and learn what motivates us to move forward and what holds us back.

Building this level of self-awareness helps us live our lives more authentically and sets the stage for us to do the needed work. It helps us improve and make changes in how we perform at work and how we communicate and interact in our relationships. It gives us the chance to live up to our true potential. Without it, we often find ourselves guessing a lot, going with the flow, making decisions based on gut feelings, and wondering why we keep making the same mistakes.

5 ways to increase self-awareness

It's important to understand that becoming self-aware takes daily work and practice. There are many different ways to improve our self-awareness; the key is to tune in, get curious, and pay attention. The following suggestions are a few simple practices you can often do on your own that will be beneficial in improving your self-awareness over time.

1. Reflect and check-in
Build a daily habit to pause and reflect on your day. Recognize your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and notice if your actions that day align with your values.

2. Journal
Create a 10-minute daily practice to write your thoughts on paper and clear your mind at the end of each day.The act of writing down our thoughts and feelings can be very therapeutic. It's a healthy way to make sense of things, process our feelings and gain more clarity.

3. Being in the present moment
Develop a habit of pausing to focus on yourself in the present moment. Notice how you are feeling both emotionally and physically. You might find it helpful to bring your attention to your breath and focus on your breathing for a few minutes.

You can also choose a relaxing activity that you might enjoy. It could be something as simple as going for a walk, gardening, drawing, or cooking. If you choose to do this, notice when your thoughts start drifting and bring it back to the current moment.
• Notice how it feels physically (as you are walking and breathing in the fresh air).
• Notice the nature around you, the sounds, and the colors.
• Notice how you feel.

4. A digital break
Try taking time off, free from all electronics: dedicate a day, half a day or few hours a week where you turn off all your devices. Go for a walk without your phone, or spend an evening with the family without any distractions. You can choose to play cards, or have engaging conversations, or cook together, and see if you notice a difference. You will be surprised how distracting electronics can be, and how big of an impact they have on our ability to be present in our experiences and relationships.

5. Seek feedback from trusted people
Asking loved ones or trusted colleagues for feedback can be a great way to learn more about yourself and how others perceive you. Let them know that you are working on yourself, and their honest opinion will be beneficial. Keep an open heart and mind to objectively and without judgment receive their feedback, and see what you can learn from it.

These five suggestions are only few of the many things you can be doing daily to improve your self-awareness. Try them and see if you notice a difference. Maybe you'll discover something new about yourself or notice that you feel less stressed and more relaxed. These practices not only can help increase our self-awareness, but some of them are also great ways to manage and reduce stress. So, give them a try.

Sincerely,
Rasha Afifi-Talleh
Professional Coach CPCC, ACC, INHC